I left work early on Wednesday to go to somewhere called B&Q. I don’t usually do DIY but I do do colour and I wanted to choose some paint for the bathroom. I’m good at colour. I spent 4 years at art college doing fashion and textile design, and I’ve spent 20 years buying and selling textiles, many of which I’ve designed myself. I love colour. It’s what I do. I’m proud of it. Darren came with me and he didn’t like the colours I’d chosen. I wanted a wet plaster colour for the top of the wall and a darker grey for the woodwork. Darren was quite insistent that he didn’t like them, but in my confidence I said to him, “Look, if I’m wrong, I’ll tell you I was wrong and you will be right.” “He won’t be right,” I thought, “it’ll be me that’s right. I’m good at colours.” imaginary smug face We bought the paint.
I painted a couple of coats of undercoat white on top of the existing old paint so I could test the new paint to reassure him that my decision was correct. I was having such a lovely time. Michelle Obama was reading me her autobiography on Audible as I painted away, and it was the day that Barack got inaugurated. It was all rather splendid.
Then as the colour painting job began, a mild unease grew to a horrible realisation that the colours I’d chosen are both actually utterly disgusting, and then an even worse thought revealed itself. He had been absolutely right – which most definitely made me utterly wrong.
As I stared at the wall, the wet plaster I wanted was more of a baby pink mixed with peach yoghurt injected with loads of food colouring, and the grey is the sort of muddy purple colour you get when you clean children’s paintbrushes in a jam jar.
Like dumping a teenage boyfriend I copped out and texted him. “You were right. The pink paint is the colour of Ross Jenkins from primary school’s sick when I was a kid. It needs to be a biscuity elephants breath with the dark paint,” he texted back “Now I’m torn between being pleased that I was right, whilst being annoyed that it’s £34 wasted… I think I’d rather have been wrong,” he added a laughing emoji which is why we’re still married this morning. Later today I think I might have the courage to tell him I was also wrong about the grey too.
In positive news we’ve saved a fortune on tester pots.
I’m not selling you anything today. Unless you want to put an offer in for 2 pots of £34 paint. There’s 10% OFF everything with the code APRIL10, and there’s a free face mask worth £8.95 in every order over £30 too.
Have a better week than me everyone!