Wedding Bells & Tainted Love Tales

We recently went to a local wedding evening do. We started in The Roebuck in town at 4.45pm, and a minibus came to pick me and four blokes up from the pub at 5.45pm to take us to the venue in the hills – an old mill building next to the river Dove with a gloriously sunny evening of long shadows, warm soft sunlight, festooned fairy lights, pizza, drinks, laughter, a great live band and, of course, a gorgeous bride and groom. It was stunning.

Anyway, we’d started rounds in the pub earlier, so we continued that way at the wedding. I went to the bar for the obligatory, “Four pints and a prosecco please.” While I was at the bar, the band started playing a Marc Almond cover. Pete leaned over to me. “I punched Marc Almond in the face once.” “Hang on a minute,” I went to pay for the drinks. “Pete do not move. I need to know more.” I got my tray of drinks and gave Pete my full attention. “Right. Tell me everything.”

“He was copping off with a bloke I’d been seeing when I lived in London, so I punched him in the face. End of story.”

“It’s short, granted, but it’s a brilliant story nonetheless.”

Anyway, I thought you’d like to know Pete’s story. I don’t know why I love it. I think it made me laugh out loud because it was such a flippant and unexpected aside. Plus, the heartbreak is over, the ex-boyfriend is long gone, Pete’s well and presumably Marc Almond’s face has healed in the 30 years since. Also, Tainted Love is an absolute banger of a tune, isn’t it?

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